Children living in affluent homes in the Medieval and Tudor period were expected to learn how to behave generally in society and at the table. As would be expected there was a strong emphasis on deference to ones elders and betters. Young children were made to learn manners which were written down, often in verse form, mainly in French or sometimes Latin.

Boys from richer families were often sent to live with another family to learn how to behave and to act as higher ranking servants. The practice of sending children of seven or eight years away, where they would tutored, has also been suggested to show how little attachment there was between high ranking parents and their children at this time.

Many of the expectations were similar to those of today and sound quite familiar to us but others are less so. Affluence and squalor often went hand in hand, contemporary accounts describe the floors in noblemen’s houses as ‘sometimes encumbered with refuse for twenty years together.’ Henry Vlll enacted a law against the filthy conditions of the servants in his own kitchens.

The following extracts are taken from sources collected by Dr Furnivall for the Early English Text Society, a collection of mainly medieval and Tudor ‘’divers treatises touching the Manners and Meals of Englishmen in former times.’’ Some of these were published in 1868 under the title ‘The Babees’ Book.’

Table Manners

‘Take no seat, but be ready to stand until you are bidden to sit down. Keep your hands and feet at rest; do not claw your flesh or lean against a post, in the presence of your lord, or handle anything belonging to the house.

Make obeisance to your lord always when you answer; otherwise stand as still as a stone, unless he speak.

If you see your lord drinking, keep silence, without loud laughter, chattering, whispering, joking or other insolence. When you are set down, tell no dishonest tale; eschew also, with all your might, to be scornful; and let your cheer be humble, blithe and merry, not chiding as if ye were ready for a fight.’

‘When ye shall drink, wipe your mouth clean with a cloth, and your hands also, so that you shall not in anyway soil the cup, for then shall none of your companions be loth to drink with you.’

‘ Do not cut your meat like field-men who have such an appetite that they reck not in what wise, where or when or how ungoodly they hack at their meat; but sweet children, have always your delight in courtesy and in gentleness, and eschew boisterousness with all your might.’

‘Do not scratch yourself at the table so that men call you a daw, nor wipe your nose or nostrils, else men will say you are come of churls. Make neither the cat nor the dog your fellow at the table. And do not play with the spoon, or your trencher, or your knife.’

‘Whether you spit near or far, hold your hand before your mouth to hide it.’

Extracts from the Book of Courtesy

Spare bread or wine, drink or ale, Till thy mess from the kitchen be set in hall, Lest men say thou art hunger-beaten, Or all men know thee for a glutton. Look thy nails be clean, in truth, Lest thy fellow loathe them, forsooth. Bite not thy bread and lay it down, That is no courtesy to use in town. As much as thou wilt eat, that break, The remnant left the poor shall take. In peace thou eat and ever eschew To quarrel at board—that may thee rue. On both sides of thy mouth if thy eat, Many a scorning shalt thou get. Thou shalt not laugh nor speak nothing, While thy mouth be full of meat or drink. Nor sup thou not with great sounding, Neither pottage, nor other thing. Look that no dirt on thy finger be, To defoul the cloth before thee. In thy dish if thou wet thy bread, Look thereof that nought he led To drip again thy dish into; Thou art ill-bred if thou so do. If thy nose thou cleanse, as may befall, Look thy hand thou cleanse withal; Privily with skirt do it away, Or else thro’ thy tippet that is so gay. At meat cleanse not thy teeth nor pick With knife or straw or wand or stick. While holdest meat in mouth, beware To drink, that is unhonest chare; And also physic fobids it quite, And says thou may be choked at that bite, If it go wrong thy throat into. And stop thy wind, thou art fordo. Dip not thy thumb thy drink into; Thou art uncourteous if thou it do. In salt-cellar if thou put Or fish or flesh that men see it, That is a vice, as men me tells; And great wonder it would be else. After meat when thou shalt wash, Spit not in basin nor water dash, Nor spit not loosely for any meed Before a man of God for dread.